No one has posted on this community for 39 weeks, but I came across this and I want to share my story in hopes of relating to someone or helping someone. Now, most people speak of physically abusive partners, but I come from a different side of abuse; the mentally abusive side. I know to some people, this isn't a big deal. However, the whole "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" line that was handed to us as kids.. BULL SHIT.
Growing up, both my parents were abusive; my mother was physically abusive and my father was/is mentally abusive. And obviously, I was never able to escape that because every boyfriend I've ever been with turned out to be mentally abusive. I thank God I didn't end up with anyone physically abusive.
We'll start out with my first mentally abusive boyfriend.. I was 16. He was 20. I met him at a festival through a friend. He was an interesting character to begin with. This guy thought he was a water bender/water fox. I don't even know why I dated him thinking back on it. He turned out to be psychotic. He was only good to me once a month, maybe even less. He cheated on me almost everyday. He would make mistakes in his life and somehow turn it all on me like it was my fault and tell me what a piece of shit I was. He took every flaw he had and casted them upon me to make himself feel perfect. Make sense? No. Well, that's okay.
Finally, I broke up with that guy and moved on. But way to go girlie, you found yourself another loser. I was 17 and he was 16. This guy was my best friend until he started dating a girl who would not let him talk to me; they lasted the longest 7 months of my life. I was there the day he broke up with her. We began talking again, then stopped. Then I heard he was getting into pot and smoking it everyday. Then I started talking to him again, he claimed he was only smoking once a week. That was a lie. I liked him since I met, sounds stupid but it was true. And he eventually told me his feelings for me. It was all a lie and he was using me. I have my licence and a car, he only has his permit. He used me for rides everywhere, he used me for weed, and alcohol. I used to have parties at my house every Saturday night (my mom would buy the alcohol) and since this guy was poor, I helped him buy the weed. I put in $40 for it and he put in $10, he smoked all of it. I got his share of the weed and he got mine. After he told me he liked me he said he wouldn't date me because he was afraid it would end badly and he didn't wanna get hurt and didn't want me to get hurt. He slept over my house and things started to happen but I made him stop because I wasn't comfortable with it; I have trust issues for obvious reasons. Then he started getting distant. I confronted him about that and told him he was acting like my ex and he told me he'd never hurt me and that he's not walking away. I also didn't want to smoke every day and I wouldn't let him smoke around me so that obviously turned him off. I hated how much he smoked. He would always stand me up to go get baked with his friends. It was always weed before me. And you know what? He treated me like shit, I can't even tell you how many times he would put me down. He never treated me right. Now I know the reason he wouldn't date me is because I have a concious. And I have a brain. And I know right from wrong. And I know being stoned all day every day isn't the way to live. He wanted to date another stoner so he never had to face his harsh reality.
My close friend took a turn for the worst with drugs and self inflicting pain; so I told her mother about it and we tried to figure out a way how to fix it. This boy completely freaked out and was making plans to kill me and told me I destroyed her life and all these other things. I never cried so hard in my life. I never knew he could be that aweful to me. After that he stopped talking to me and started talking to this pothead girl and began dating her without the bull shit he gave me. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me; nothing was wrong with me, it's him. And you know what? I'm glad it ended, I'm glad it's over, I'm glad he didn't drag me down with him. He now smokes pot all day every day. I'm so glad I'm not like him. I'm glad to be sober. As Beyonce would say, thank God I found the good in good-bye!
I hope this helps some teenage girls out there with guy problems. Some people may not see my story as a big deal, but you walk in your own shoes. I thank God I learned from these experiences. No one deserves treatment like this.