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Mon, Jul. 12th, 2010, 12:31 pm
echo_narcisis: Hi, I'm new

Hi, I'm twenty three, and I have two kids. I've been with my Husband on and off for four years now.

In the beginning there were signs that he could possibly be abusive ( the occasional flash of anger when he lost control of the situation, which resulted in him shoving me, or 'restraining' my wrists, which would sometimes cause me to bruise, or swell).

I think I forgave him so many times because I loved him very intensely. But more that I think about it now, I think its because I was afraid of what would happen to my daughter and myself.

As time passed, he stopped being so controlling, and started being neglectful. He pretty much ignored our marriage, and our daughter to do online gaming. Then online gaming turned into wanting to live recklessly, and buying a motorcycle.

He claimed he did it because he needed to feel alive. Whether or not thats true, I don't really know, and don't really care.

Needless to say, the marriage was going south by the time we found out I was pregnant with my son. After I refused to get a abortion, it got bad again, and he shoved me around some...Deserted us without a car or cash for days on end, and cheated on me multiple times with women he met over the internet. So I left with my daughter and moved out of state to live my family.

Near the end of my pregnancy, he decided he wanted to be involved with my daughter, and our son, and promised marriage counselling to help fix the damage. Things were good for a while, and he was the guy I met out of Country and fell in love with.

For a while we had the 'long distance marriage' thing going on, with him emailing and corresponding over the phone daily. He claimed he couldn't move to be with us right away because he was finishing up college classes and such.

Turns out -and I find this out after he moves to live with us- he's cheating again, and had a full time relationship going on out of state.

Again, he makes the promises to change, and again, I stupidly agree to let him try.

Things are good for a while, my son is now 15 months old.
Last week, things got to a boiling point again, over something silly. I turn off the computer, and he blows up. He shoves me against a wall, and twists my wrist. I ended up with a sprained finger and bruising.

To be fair, I did throw something at him afterwards.

I packed my stuff up, and took the kids to my Moms again.
Yesterday, my daughter had a accident, and ended up biting all the way through her mouth when she fell. He took her to the ER with me, and things were pretty good while we were in public.

We had been talking about working things out of the past week... But when were were in the car, I was texting my Mom over our shared cell phone, and he went crazy. I read a few of the texts in the in box and found out that he had been lying about trying to get plans to attend a class in Utah through the military, and had known for days that his orders had been cancelled, and was just being negligent and doing whatever he was doing.

He literally twisted my wrist to get the phone from me. But the problem is that he wrapped his hand around my hand,so it was trapped. I had to bite his arm to get him to let go of me.

Today, I have been on the phone with a legal aid, and I am filing for divorce and custody of our children.

Its really hard leaving, because its a really scary and stressful situation... But I know he wont get better, because he honestly doesn't think that what he did was wrong.

I'm hoping that I wont have to file a restraining order, and that his 'threats' of 'You'll never get rid of me" and "You'll never get remarried, I'll cut your head off" are just jokes.

But, I honestly don't know anymore.
I'm just hoping things will get better.

Mon, Jul. 12th, 2010 09:42 pm (UTC)
freeofpain

Unfortunately....things probably won't change. And the pattern that you describe is going to affect you for a long time. I know. I have been there. Take all threats seriously and do WHATEVER u need to do to protect yourself and your children. I'm really sorry you have all had to go through this.