I'm Andie. After eight months, I finally left an abusive relationship (we were engaged). (Actually, technically, this is the third time I'd tried to leave.) Well, to be frank, I kicked him out of my apartment last night. He came back tonight to get some of his stuff, and I am having the locks changed TOMORROW, which he doesn't know I am doing. (He wouldn't give back his copy of the key and my dad said that he's probably crafty enough to make a copy of the copy and keep it, but giving me one back, so I would think that was it.) His stuff is mostly still here, and he said that it's going to "take him a while" to get it all. And I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to give himself reasons to stay connected, because he knows I'm not quite mean enough to throw his stuff out by the dumpster, or have a garage sale. (And I could use the money, believe me.)
He's bipolar, not on meds, stressed out and not sleeping. So I am terrified that he will go into mania again, and that's ugly. We just went through five months of it. That's when he gets worse than usual. But, that's a projection into the worst case scenario.
Tonight, when he came here to get his stuff, I knew he was coming, and about when he would arrive. But, he didn't knock. He used his key and walked right in. And said, "I hope if people call for me you're not telling them that I don't live here anymore..." Well, that is precisely what I AM doing, and giving them his cell number. (He's job hunting at the moment.) And, he's keeping a piddly job that he hates, though he's now 20 minutes away....and I have a hunch that it's because the place is right up the street from me. :( He works tomorrow, actually. I'm trying not to stress myself out by worrying about things that may not happen, but I try to plan for contingencies. As it is, I'm sleeping with the door barricaded at night, so he can't just come in. After tomorrow, I won't have to, since his key won't work.
Anyhow...he was never physically violent with me, thank God. He was emotionally and psychologically abusive. Of this "warning signs" checklist I found, he did 95% of the things.
Anyhow....I guess I am just venting. And looking for ways to stay strong and not let him back in my life. *sigh* I guess I could just use some support right now.
Take care, all.